This post was originally published on November 4, 2016
The latest update to this post was made 7 years ago.
Relationships And The Dreaded ‘I Need Some Space’ Line…
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When a girl says she needs or wants some space, it’s rarely a good thing and almost always means things are going downhill quickly! So, as guys, we immediately make up to three assumptions…
1) I’ve royally screwed something up…
If you royally screwed something up, you can probably figure out what it is and there is a chance this may be temporary. You could try patching things up… but give it a day or two and take it slow. She is turned off by you at this point and you need to come back slowly. Try a flower delivery with a light note or a simple email/letter. Although you shouldn’t kiss ass, you should take responsibility if you did something dumb… The problem I’ve seen here is that often we don’t know what we did, but we are magically supposed to know… thanks, ladies! Also time heals, so a dumb action might start losing its seriousness after a day or two. Cheating is not included on this and you deserve to be tossed to the curb if you cheated – sorry this is just the way it is!
2) She wants to see (or is already secretly seeing someone else)…
If she wants to see someone else, game over – move on. This hardly ever works out and will always be a contention point in your relationship. In my situation, there was an ex lingering in the background who seemed to have some magical mind control and jacked everything up triggering this behavior. The “space” was needed so she could attempt a re-connect with the ex, without totally losing me in case things didn’t work out. Not cool… And even if things did end up working out with us, it would always be on my mind, always be a fight waiting to happen, etc…
3) There is 3rd party interference…
3rd party interference is tough… It could be an ex, a co-worker putting on the moves on or maybe even her friends repeatedly telling her ‘she can do better’. In any case, this is also a tough one to overcome. If it’s an ex and kids are involved, you could try talking it out – but in my experience this never goes well… Her sneaky co-workers are around her all day and can subliminally get messages into her head, which they in turn start to believe (sorry ladies, yes, this is true – I’ve witnessed it over and over again). It can be fixed in this case, as long as co-worker hasn’t already slipped her the ‘goods’… Just straighten up your act, go on a romantic date (take a small gift or flowers) and talk it out. If you’re lucky things will work out. Her friends are a force field that you should have been keeping thawed since the beginning… A girl will take her friends advise over almost anything else… So beware… You piss off the friends, you’ve got immediate issues and in the ‘need space’ case, you’re screwed before you start. Now, flipside, if you’re in good with the friends… You ‘could’ be brave and reach out them to get some insight as to what the problem(s) are, because yes, they already know… With any luck, after a few days of cooling off and figuring out what you did wrong – you can make things right!
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